The Shaman Will See You Now.

PHOTO CREDIT: "Lush Rain Forest" by porbital

Being a novice Shaman, tonight, I am enjoying a show about Amazonian healing methods. I was called to serve by the spirit energy that comes with surviving a severe medical condition. It is said that shamans are called by one of two ways: by your grandparent or parent, or from surviving a severe illness, which gave you access to the vision-realm. I have been both blessed and cursed to carry, "the fire" within myself. Modern medicine would call it "schizoaffective disorder," but in most earth traditions, being able to straddle that mental netherworld is an asset to the Shaman.

It is through my visions or "hallucinations" that I am able to transcend the confines of the mind and intuit deeper understanding. I walk through this world with one foot in "Earth-realm" and another foot in the "Greater Consciousness." When I am most in-tune between those dimensions, I literally see what's happening in my earthy present moment from one eye, and a world of pure transcendence from the other. The vision realm sends me family relatives who have died and now reside in another dimension of consciousness to guide me through lucid dream travels.

The other night, I spoke with my recently deceased uncle in a dream following a week of mental strain. This often happens before a vision, I'll get bad headaches and successive nights before the vision, a purge of bad dreams. It's as though the Shaman is cleansing themselves of all the heavy energy before making contact, so that the connection is strong to allow the best transfer of information. In that dream, my uncle told me that my great-great-grandfather also had the "fire" (schizoaffective) and his energy wanted to tell me that he understands the hardship of the bad effects that come with the "fire" but that it is so worth having. And, to keep courage not to fully cross over into the vision realm before it's time (death).

My grandmother who died has visited me twice in lucid dream travels. Once, directly following her passing. She was (and always will be) my hero in many ways and we were very alike in our energies. So, I was not the least bit shocked when I awoke early one morning around 6a.m. and knew that someone in the family had died. Then, as if on cue, the phone rang. "Hello?" It was my mom, "Grandma just died." I replied, "I know, I just was woken up by her energy as it fluttered off." After about a week following the funeral, I had a lucid dream vision where I spoke with her. It was in a classy, F. Scott Fitzgerald, roaring '20s style hotel, which was a great selection on her part since she was a flapper. I remember being aware I was "dreaming" while floating in the elevator heading up to her apartment.

I realized that I could go up or down with the elevator simply by thinking the direction!! So, "whoosh" I sped up to her floor, high atop this building. I knew it was very high in altitude because I could see clouds passing by the window at the end of the hallway. I continued to float down the hallway toward her room and instinctively knew which door opened to her apartment. I motioned my hand at the door and it glided open, and naturally, I floated smoothly into this suite that looked as though it was forever floating in the dimension of '20s America. I first saw the back of her head in the bob style of her younger pictures, and a cloud of cigarette smoke billowing forth. She smoked for 60 years but died of old age at 94!! As I rounded the couch and gazed upon her face, she looked happier than I'd ever seen her. She was glowing and told me not to worry about her dying but that she'd always be in my visions. I have relied upon her spirit many times to endure the side effects of "mental illness."

I had another dream of her later at the shore of a lake where she was wearing a red cloak and we discussed the importance of love and we shared the beauty of the water around us. How do I know that these dreams are different than any other? Firstly, when I normally dream I don't know that I am dreaming. I'm buried in the context of the dream, which usually is a big murky and sometimes random. But when I have my "visions" I am aware that I am "dreaming." And the lighting is always different in them. It's brighter but not painfully so, and there is always this rainbow sparkling aura or crown of light around nearly every little pixel. The essence of them are crisper and clearer in intensity. In those dreams, I always remark to myself, how different the feeling is from my other dreams.

I know and acknowledge a completely different sensation and understanding when I'm having a "hallucination" versus a "vision." I have them both and they are very distinguishable. When I hallucinate, there isn't a purpose behind them except to flash random sounds or visuals in my vision. However, with a vision, there is always a specific message to be heard. Usually the visions erupt out of a dream in progress. I have a regular dream and then it's from that regular dream where I feel like I open a door out of the dream, while asleep, and enter a whole other dimension where time is occurring just as equally as it is in earth time!!

Anyway, I'll wrap this one up. While watching this shamanic show, the Amazonian priest told of how the plants teach them what powers they have to heal. He uses a machete to make a small cut to a certain tree, and tastes the milk inside it's roots. He says that is how the plants give them insight into their healing properties for the Shaman must try all these medicines before giving them out to others. That is why a Shaman will not leave you alone during a hallucinogenic experience. They walk through the vision with you, every step of the way. That is when their experience with the vision realm comes into value -- to guide you in a realm that can often be disorienting if one isn't use to navigating in a non-earth realm.

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Bald Eagle Decapitated in Louisiana.

By Mark Morgenstein, CNN

(CNN) -- A brutal, fatal case of suspected cruelty to animals is under investigation in Louisiana, the state's wildlife department said in a press release Tuesday. Agents from the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries found a beheaded bald eagle Sunday in a drainage ditch in Franklin Parish, in the northeastern part of the state, according to the release.

Green Man: Every time an animal dies in such a senseless and cruel manner, my heart literally aches. But, to see our national animal and the symbol of freedom, so disrespected is nearly more than I can bear. Especially since raptors are some of my favorite animals. The Red-Tail Hawk is my main animal guide and I'm lucky to see them quite frequently here in Colorado. I often find I see them when I need a message of hope or strength.

They also have been known to visit me in times of trouble. Once, my wife, some friends and I were going to Las Vegas to party and otherwise debauch ourselves when the plane we were about to leave on was delayed. It turns out that a Red Tail hawk had been sucked into one of the plane engines on the plane's previous flight. I had a sinking feeling that was a bad sign for things to come. As it turns out, I ended up taking way to much ecstasy in Vegas and nearly blacked-out. When I came to, the next day, I found myself in the midst of a mental breakdown.

The over-dose of drugs flared up my mental illness and I literally said less than a dozen words for the next three days as I followed my wife and friends around Vegas like a lost puppy dog. I was so out of it that at one point I asked my wife if I had lost my sanity. I was terrified because I couldn't hold a train of thought for longer than about 2 minutes before forgetting. I couldn't activate my brain to analyze my emotions or the situation I was in to return to a sense of normalcy. The flight home was surreal where I thought everyone on-board was talking about me and every time I'd hear people laugh I assumed they were laughing at me. I didn't get things back under control until I got back to the house and could take my medications.

Upon contemplating at home about the trip, I saw the death of that hawk as a warning to me of things to come if I kept on that course. I saw it too as a sign to stop the heavy drug use, which I did. Now, I just stick to the natural stuff--marijuana, which actually helps my mental illness. That was also a time when I wasn't fully diagnosed yet and wasn't taking adequate amounts of medication in the first place. I was finally and accurately diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder not long after the Vegas incident, and have since improved though I am unable to work because of the disorder. Mental illness runs in my family; well, it practically gallops in the family, so I knew I was probably going to have some issues at some point.

Ecstasy is a drug that unlocks a lot of spirituality and understanding of the deeper realities of life. However, it should be used sparingly, and not multiple times through-out the night with alcohol, as I did. I believe that most people (adults) should try it at least once but from an attitude of spiritual awakening, respect and with a guide to help you stay safe. It's good to have someone to remind you to drink water through-out the high because it's easy to get dehydrated and over-heated, which was my other problem. The alcohol didn't help that aspect either. But, don't drink too much water either because that can be problematic, as well. I found the sweet spot to be a tall glass about every hour. I'd have someone set their watch to go off every hour to keep everyone aware.

But, I digress. Animals can be such amazing blessings to our lives if we let them be but all too often we see them as objects to use any way we see fit. So, to see an animal not only senselessly killed but tortured on top of that just makes me want to vomit. It makes me very disappointed in my fellow humans.

~The Green Man has Spoken~

The Green Man's Curse Part III--The Conclusion.

(Animist fetish market in Togo, West Africa)

Our lungs were still burning with rage from running like two gazelle sprinting for their lives when the power in our house briefly flickered it's last breaths before giving into a dark death. We stumbled outside onto the balcony like kids fleeing a shadow in the middle of the night. Upon reaching the landing we saw the street lamp barely glowing while in the distance this high pitched whine began to approach. It sounded like the village was about to be invaded by a swarm of militant bees. Then out of the night engulfed street, coming from the direction of the cemetery a group of about 10 men on mopeds exploded into our field of vision headed toward the intersection just off the far right corner of our balcony. Immediately they drove around the intersection in a circle of mechanical choreography, kicking up the silence of the night with each crank of their hand shifters.

One of them was carrying a clay pot on his lap and smashed it in the middle of the abandoned intersection, and with that they sped off as fast as they appeared. We all stood in shock trying to make sense of the earthquake of events that had shaken up our night. The silence built into an awkward, uncomfortable tension when one of the missionaries that was already home before we arrived out of the breath stated, "Witchcraft." Chills washed over me and then a split second flashed by and the lights jumped back to life as if by command from the utterance of the word, "witchcraft." The pots were nothing new to our lives as missionaries because people left them all over villages as they were often used as vessels to "pour out sickness" into to cure ill or "cursed" people. They are usually filled with twigs, herbs, sometimes animal blood and often the urine of the person cursed or ill with a disease. This was symbolic of flushing the malady out of your body.

Broken pots in a lot of African Animism also symbolize death as a complete one is literally the holder of life as it often contains sustaining water. They also symbolize someone attempting to break down a social relationship, as a full pot constitutes harmony and welcoming. When one welcomes another to a village they are often brought a new clay pot full of food. A broken pot is also a symbol of banishment and social separation from society. A broken pot in other words is a bad sign. And here were these men smashing one full of a dark liquid and all kinds of plant material right in front of our house. Clearly some of the hatred toward us stemmed from being Christian missionaries in a village (Yamoussoukro) which is very proud of it's animist beliefs and saw us a threat. Now that I'm long past being a missionary and a Christian in general I can't say that I blame them. Christians have brought a lot of misery to Africa.

So, given that status (and being a white Christian on top of it) there were plenty of people who could have had the reason to curse my fortunes and future. I don't know if I believe in curses but after I came home from my two years in Africa my life fell apart, and I haven't been the same since. I have also had the worst luck where before Africa I had great luck. I don't have the time or room to describe all the incidents but suffice to say that if it could go wrong with me it has or will. It's not just me--my wife knows about the "dark, gray, cloud" that follow me and rains down upon me horrible luck. So, do my friends and family who can't believe how many things go wrong in my life--both in little and big ways. The biggest examples being having to drop out of the Master's degree program in African history, (ironically) and being diagnosed with the severe mental illness of Schizoaffective disorder.

Is it a coincidence then that I faced many smashed pots near the many places I lived at in Africa, and that ever since I've been home I've felt alienated from the society around me? In every way nearly I'm an outcast from my society since returning home. I have a mental illness, which causes people to shun me. I am a Buddhist with Pagan beliefs, which is frowned upon by my Christian dominated society. I am bisexual, which again is frowned upon by my society. Politically I am a liberal, which isn't a majority view in my society. All of this isn't by choice it's just labels that apply to how my personality expresses itself and yet they are all minority views it seems. I don't like interacting with people anymore because I somehow always get unwanted attention, or there's always a complication with whatever business I'm trying to accomplish. I get manic, anxious and irritable around too much noise and yet it seems like noise flocks around me as if by spell. Just now as I'm trying to explain why I feel cursed after my time in Africa the lawn mowing company showed up to crank on their loud machines to conveniently block my concentration. They usually don't come on this day or this late.

So, I ask you is all this a curse or coincidence? And if it is a curse, what dear Pagans do you suggest I do to lift it or at least cleanse my energy. I just want the chaos to ease up. There's only so many problems a person can face in a ten year span--and it shows no sign of slowing down!! I feel stalked by everyone as if I'm being watched and whenever I try to do something beneficial for me I am intercepted by someone who thwarts by plans. Maybe not even knowingly but it's happened so many times that I'm really starting to wonder about this curse stuff. And I'm really starting to wonder if somehow the curse could be using others as the vehicle to thwart my plants. Another thing to consider is that I was given a small statue of a traditional Ivorian hunter before I left--is it possible that's where the bad energy is coming from? It's hard to believe though since it was given to me by a "friend?"

~The Green Man has Spoken~

Common Weed Killer Causes Male Frogs to Become Female.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Atrazine, one of the most commonly used and controversial weedkillers, can turn male frogs into females, researchers reported on Monday. The experiment is the first to show such complete effects of atrazine, which had been known to disrupt hormones and which is one of the chief suspects in the decline of amphibians such as frogs around the world.

The European Union banned atrazine in 2004. The finding may add pressure to the United States to more closely regulate the chemical, used widely in agriculture."Approximately 80 million pounds (36,287 tonnes) are applied annually in the United States alone, and atrazine is the most common pesticide contaminant of ground and surface water," the researchers wrote.

Green Man: And we wonder why Autism and other mental illnesses are on the rise? I know some studies have shown that chemicals have no effect on Autism but how can it not have some influence when these chemicals are shown to reverse the sexual traits of other animals??? Atrazine is also implicated as a causal factor in breast cancer. I know people who will say, "Oh it's just a damn frog." Yeah? Well, ever hear of something called, "the food chain?" These frogs are acting as our "canary in the coal mine." For those who don't know, miners use to take canaries into the mines to warn them of toxic gases being released. The birds would always be effected first and more easily so if the canaries were acting weird or died then they knew it was time to get the hell out of the mine. If the frogs are getting messed up then it doesn't take a scientist to tell you that sooner or latter--humans are next. If not already being effected.

Green lawns all over the country are in general bad for the environment in my view. They require ridiculous amounts of water and toxic chemicals to fertilize and kill weeds. We have been in continuous droughts out here in the West and green lawns are partly to blame. They are not native to Colorado, nor many other places around the country. I would love to see a law passed that requires all home-owners to xeriscape their properties, (click here to read more about xeriscaping) with native grasses, plants and flowers. I have seen some really beautiful xeriscaped landscapes around the state and country, so I don't buy the argument that such landscapes aren't as "attractive."

There is this house (unfortunately I don't have a picture) in near by Boulder, Colorado near my former psychologists house that has a xeriscaped yard full of Colorado wildflowers, Aspen trees and a lot of other native species in their landscape. It is a really gorgeous set-up that looks like they have a mountain meadow as a front and back yard. The best part though for me is that they have a front walk way that's just a little wandering dirt path and snakes its way through the wild flowers, wild grasses and Aspen trees all the way up to their front door. It's just like up in the mountains and they hardly use any water at all, and it hides their front door and window a bit for some nice privacy.

~The Green Man has spoken~

Howl at the Moon.

Tonight is the first full moon of 2010 and it was the biggest and brightest full moon of the year. The full moon tonight will be 2010's biggest and brightest since the moon is closer in orbit than usual at this time of year. How much bigger and brighter? Spaceweather.com reports it will be 14 percent wider and 30 percent brighter than normal.

Green Man: The moon is nature's light bulb. I am one of the millions of people who feel drawn by the moon. I am also one of those who believes that human actions are influenced by the moon's waxing and waning. I have heard, for example, that there are more births during full moons than not:

The theory is that the moon's gravitational pull effects the amniotic fluid in much the same way as it effects the water in the sea, rivers and even the water that's otherwise found in our bodies. As a woman's body prepares for natural childbirth, the amniotic sac becomes distended so the point where it will easily burst if put under pressure. Under normal circumstances, the pressure of labor contractions bursts the sac. During a full moon, the pressure caused by the moon's effect on the water inside the sac can cause the same things to happen, but without the accompanying contractions.

Green Man: It doesn't end there though. One study published in The Journal of Psychosocial Nursing and Mental Health Service in the year 2000 showed an increase in deterioration of Schizophrenics during full-moon phases. Now, it is a small and isolated study. So it's not overwhelming evidence by any means but could this be in part where the idea that people go crazy during full-moons stems from? The term lunacy actually comes from the name of the Roman goddess of the moon, Luna. Imagine an untreated Schizophrenic living in an ancient village who seemed a bit unhinged but was otherwise semi-functional.

This person would probably go from semi-functional to psychotic in a matter of minutes like switching on a light bulb. Such a transformation would be perplexing and scary to those living with that person. So, surely they would look for something that caused such a rapid change and being nature based societies they would have obviously looked toward nature. Then comes the full-moon. And if it does affect the body via increased pressure perhaps to the brain, then it seems somewhat logical that it would only take a small shift to send a person already on the edge of sanity into psychosis. And even if a person only went into psychosis by chance during a full moon, or just once associated with the full moon; it would have been easy for the ancients to connect the two.

I live with a form of schizophrenia called schizo-affective disorder, and despite all the medications I take I still can be thrown into a manic whirlwind by the slightest changes such as season changes and time changes. So, I suppose if all the conditions were right a person could be tipped over the edge by the pressure induced pull from the moon. Thus, it would make sense that a Pagan society might blame the moon for schizophrenics going "berzerk" and behaving like a possessed animal. Thus, the werewolf myth. It's an obviously just a theory on my part and very unscientific but still, I bet there is some truth to it. By the way, I don't remember having any major episodes on any full-moon nights but I will pay closer attention now--just as an experiment. I'll keep a log and follow the lunar patterns and see if I have more symptoms during full moons or not and I'll let you know!!

Also, I somewhat resisted posting this because there is a stigma about mental illness that we're all stark raving mad. And while sometimes we do have "freak outs" it isn't constantly, and for the most part you wouldn't even know we have a mental illness by just walking by us or engaging in a conversation. Please don't compare the mentally ill to Were Wolfs -- that's not my theory. My theory is only that those who didn't understand medical science might have come up with the werewolf myth to explain why a fellow villager might behave bizarrely during a full moon. I do not think the mentally ill are people to shun or be afraid of at all. I know from first hand how damaging such myths and stigmas are. Unfortunately I live with them daily. So, if the full moon has any affect on the brain I believe it to be small but in an unmedicated brain a small change is all it takes to send one off into psychosis. Speaking of Were Wolfs, have you seen the new movie with Benicio Del Torro, "The Wolf Man?"If not, check out the preview--It's pretty cool looking:
Wolfman Trailer - Watch more Big Game Bonanza

Marijuana: The Miracle Drug.

As some of you know, my primary spiritual belief system is that of Zen Buddhism and part of that belief involves rebirth. Awhile back, I went to see a highly respected and trusted psychic who was recommended by my equally respected and credible psychologist. Anyway, she told me that in one of my past lives I was a Native American shaman who lived into his 90s. And that before that I was a shaman/medicine man in Africa. Those are both cultures that I really identity with but especially Africa. Plus, I have always been one who has spent countless days up high in the pine forests and meadows of the high rocky mountains. I am also one who respects all living things on planet Earth. As well as someone who has been curious about and attracted to natural remedies and plant life. I use to grind up flowers with water in with other plant matter when I was a kid. I was just having fun but isn't that interesting that I was subconsciously doing something that shamans have done for eons? I even spent a couple years selling vitamins and herbs to people looking for alternative therapies. I developed an extensive library of knowledge both in my mind and piled up on one of my many book shelves. So, anyway, I certainly feel a connection to the role of shamans.

So it shouldn't come as a surprise that I, The Green Man support the legalization of marijuana and certainly believe in its medicinal use. I don't know of any other drug that has so many benefits to it and thus why I call it a miracle drug. I personally use it to be a quick acting anti-depressant when I'm feeling suicidally depressed from my mental illness. As well as an anti-inflammatory for my fibromyalgia, which eases my aches and pains quicker and more effectively than a handful of Advil. And nothing tops the stomach pain easing effects of marijuana. When I get the flu I don't reach for Pepto Bismal, which makes me gag or choking on half a bottle of those chalky Tums tablets. I go straight for the pot because it works instantly and lasts long. Plus, it relaxes the stomach muscles to help ease that tight, uncomfortable feeling that comes with stomach sickness. Also, it often flat-out shuts down nausea.

Let me be very clear up front, I do not recommend everyone with a mental illness smoke marijuana but it's long past due that the mental health community recognize it as a potentially beneficial drug for some. Especially when it comes to folks with major depression and tendencies toward chronic suicidal thinking and planning. Suicidal impulses hit me like a storm that explodes around you within minutes and before you can realize what is happening you are fighting to stay alive.

Many of you who struggle with suicidal impulses know that once it hits you, like LSD, it steadily pulls you deeper and deeper into an altered state of consciousness that you increasingly can not control. It isn't long before you are locked into what I literally refer to as a, "death spiral." Once that process starts there isn't much that can reach me let along pull me out of it without hospitalization. Except I discovered since my one and only hospitalization that smoking some pot right as that suicidal storm hits lifts me up out of that dark, powerful, destructive black hole like being plucked out of a violent sea by a coast guard helicopter. People don't take it seriously enough as a natural supplement to prescription drugs, which kill more people every year than died in the entire Vietnam War!! That's 50,000+ every year!! Plus, when I miss a prescription drug for my schizoaffective disorder it makes me vomit violently in withdrawals. Whereas if I don't do marijuana for a day or two I don't have anything like that happen. I'm not saying pot takes the place of my meds -- not at all. It simply adds to them to ease the symptoms that the prescription drugs can't hit.

There is no pill out there that I know of, which works instantaneously to pull someone out of suicidal depression how Ativan or Klonopin instantaneously can pull people out of mania (including anxiety and panic attacks). Certainly this isn't true for everyone because for some it might pull them out of suicidal thoughts but exchange it with psychosis. However, that's true for any psychological medication but that doesn't mean that just because say Lexapro doesn't work for someone that it should be banned altogether. It's clear that marijuana DOES help people with suicidal depression and that should be factored into what conditions qualify for medicinal marijuana. And for many it can also melt away anxiety and stress as well as any prescription drug but whereas the pill is made from a long list of hard to pronounce, unnatural chemicals -- Pot it all natural.

Besides, this is America and our country was founded upon personal liberties and freedoms so why is it the government's business if someone wants to smoke a joint in the privacy of their own home and laugh at cartoons? How does that hurt anyone? Sure there need to be laws preventing smoking it and driving and keeping it away from minors. However, did you know that because marijuana isn't legal and thus not regulated that it is easier for minors to get than alcohol? To buy alcohol a teen must walk into a security camera enforced store and show valid identification. Sure they can try to make a fake ID but it's difficult to do and fakes are often discovered. If a teen goes to buy illegal pot the dealer isn't going to ask for identification. He doesn't care who buys his product, thus the teens can get pot easier than alcohol. If pot was sold in a regulated store the use rates who go down.

Sure it can be abused if you smoke it all day but honestly how many people are doing that besides college kids? Another argument is that the pot today is stronger. Blah, blah, blah. Pot has NEVER, EVER led to any over-dose. You simply can't overdose on marijuana. You can smoke it all day and the worst that happens is you fall asleep and get a good night of sleep!! Wow. Soooo dangerous. The stronger pot argument is only valid if it led to overdoses but it doesn't. It simply isn't true. Sure it might cause emphysema but that's a personal decision that someone shouldn't be making for someone else. Besides you can bake marijuana into brownies and ingest it orally without running the risks of smoking. Plus now there is the vaporizing method, which is a mist that you ingest and it has been shown to be safe. That's the method I use. It's not unlike ingesting mist from those asthma pumps.

Hell, eating too much junk food leads to heart disease, diabetes and other major health problems but do we make Twinkies illegal? Alcohol leads to liver and kidney damage but we saw what prohibition of alcohol brought us in the golden age of gangsters in the 20's. And the same members of Congress that say pot should remain illegal are guzzling alcohol by the barrel full. Porn can be abused but it's legal, working can even be abused and break up marriages. Anything can be abused but does that mean we should make everything with the ability to be abused illegal? We'd have to outlaw cold medicine, mouthwash and paint solvents to name but a few things. We wouldn't be able to function as a society or leave our house!! Should we outlaw greed? Good luck. And what about the "legal drugs" that are aired non-stop on t.v. and take half the commercial time listing adverse side effects? No, I choose not to live in fear. It's time to stop demonizing marijuana and throw it in the same category as heroin, cocaine, crack and meth. Marijuana is to those other substances as B.B. guns are to AK-47's.

I find it very odd to say the least that Conservatives who are usually for personal liberties and the government butting out of a person's private life are for keeping pot illegal!! Huh?