The Shaman Will See You Now.

PHOTO CREDIT: "Lush Rain Forest" by porbital

Being a novice Shaman, tonight, I am enjoying a show about Amazonian healing methods. I was called to serve by the spirit energy that comes with surviving a severe medical condition. It is said that shamans are called by one of two ways: by your grandparent or parent, or from surviving a severe illness, which gave you access to the vision-realm. I have been both blessed and cursed to carry, "the fire" within myself. Modern medicine would call it "schizoaffective disorder," but in most earth traditions, being able to straddle that mental netherworld is an asset to the Shaman.

It is through my visions or "hallucinations" that I am able to transcend the confines of the mind and intuit deeper understanding. I walk through this world with one foot in "Earth-realm" and another foot in the "Greater Consciousness." When I am most in-tune between those dimensions, I literally see what's happening in my earthy present moment from one eye, and a world of pure transcendence from the other. The vision realm sends me family relatives who have died and now reside in another dimension of consciousness to guide me through lucid dream travels.

The other night, I spoke with my recently deceased uncle in a dream following a week of mental strain. This often happens before a vision, I'll get bad headaches and successive nights before the vision, a purge of bad dreams. It's as though the Shaman is cleansing themselves of all the heavy energy before making contact, so that the connection is strong to allow the best transfer of information. In that dream, my uncle told me that my great-great-grandfather also had the "fire" (schizoaffective) and his energy wanted to tell me that he understands the hardship of the bad effects that come with the "fire" but that it is so worth having. And, to keep courage not to fully cross over into the vision realm before it's time (death).

My grandmother who died has visited me twice in lucid dream travels. Once, directly following her passing. She was (and always will be) my hero in many ways and we were very alike in our energies. So, I was not the least bit shocked when I awoke early one morning around 6a.m. and knew that someone in the family had died. Then, as if on cue, the phone rang. "Hello?" It was my mom, "Grandma just died." I replied, "I know, I just was woken up by her energy as it fluttered off." After about a week following the funeral, I had a lucid dream vision where I spoke with her. It was in a classy, F. Scott Fitzgerald, roaring '20s style hotel, which was a great selection on her part since she was a flapper. I remember being aware I was "dreaming" while floating in the elevator heading up to her apartment.

I realized that I could go up or down with the elevator simply by thinking the direction!! So, "whoosh" I sped up to her floor, high atop this building. I knew it was very high in altitude because I could see clouds passing by the window at the end of the hallway. I continued to float down the hallway toward her room and instinctively knew which door opened to her apartment. I motioned my hand at the door and it glided open, and naturally, I floated smoothly into this suite that looked as though it was forever floating in the dimension of '20s America. I first saw the back of her head in the bob style of her younger pictures, and a cloud of cigarette smoke billowing forth. She smoked for 60 years but died of old age at 94!! As I rounded the couch and gazed upon her face, she looked happier than I'd ever seen her. She was glowing and told me not to worry about her dying but that she'd always be in my visions. I have relied upon her spirit many times to endure the side effects of "mental illness."

I had another dream of her later at the shore of a lake where she was wearing a red cloak and we discussed the importance of love and we shared the beauty of the water around us. How do I know that these dreams are different than any other? Firstly, when I normally dream I don't know that I am dreaming. I'm buried in the context of the dream, which usually is a big murky and sometimes random. But when I have my "visions" I am aware that I am "dreaming." And the lighting is always different in them. It's brighter but not painfully so, and there is always this rainbow sparkling aura or crown of light around nearly every little pixel. The essence of them are crisper and clearer in intensity. In those dreams, I always remark to myself, how different the feeling is from my other dreams.

I know and acknowledge a completely different sensation and understanding when I'm having a "hallucination" versus a "vision." I have them both and they are very distinguishable. When I hallucinate, there isn't a purpose behind them except to flash random sounds or visuals in my vision. However, with a vision, there is always a specific message to be heard. Usually the visions erupt out of a dream in progress. I have a regular dream and then it's from that regular dream where I feel like I open a door out of the dream, while asleep, and enter a whole other dimension where time is occurring just as equally as it is in earth time!!

Anyway, I'll wrap this one up. While watching this shamanic show, the Amazonian priest told of how the plants teach them what powers they have to heal. He uses a machete to make a small cut to a certain tree, and tastes the milk inside it's roots. He says that is how the plants give them insight into their healing properties for the Shaman must try all these medicines before giving them out to others. That is why a Shaman will not leave you alone during a hallucinogenic experience. They walk through the vision with you, every step of the way. That is when their experience with the vision realm comes into value -- to guide you in a realm that can often be disorienting if one isn't use to navigating in a non-earth realm.

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Sadhu Destiny?

Being primarily a Buddhist, I guess it doesn't come as a surprise that I accept the ideas of past lives, karma and rebirth. I have had some vivid dreams before that weren't like any other. They were so much more real than my regular dreams. They have been vivid beyond imagination.

They were like the 3D movies you can experience now like "Avatar" mixed in with an advanced interactive virtual reality experience. They weren't disjointed or a mishmash of images from the day. They had an obvious beginning, middle and end with a clear message but I've only had a few in my entire 34 years on this beautiful Earth. That also makes these dreams that much more rare, which would support (to me) the idea of them being flashes of past lives.

In one of the most vivid, I was a novice Buddhist monk in Tibet climbing a mountain to a sacred spring to learn from my teachers a lesson in enlightenment. That in part would describe why I had such a strong pull toward Buddhism from the minute that I scratched its surface.

Now we get to the heart of the post--Sadhus. Sadhus are mystics, ascetics, wanderers and yoga gurus found in the Hindu religion in India. I have long had a fascination with India and found the esoteric, mystical traditions and rituals entrancing. The subcontinent pulls at my mind like a magnet. I gobbled up everything that I could find on Indian mysticism and felt like I was reading about a longing for a way of life that I'd had for years. This was to be a wandering mystic who sheds most of humanities trappings and embraces a life of mystical pursuits. I have always had wanderlust and still love to travel today as much as I can. I have also had a long-held disgust with modern human lifestyles and pined for a simpler life living on the edges of society. Well, imagine then my joy upon discovering the Sandhus!!

Being a Sadhu in India is considered the fourth and final stage of seeking moksha (or liberation) through meditation and contemplation -- sometimes within a drug induced trance provided by the smoking of cannabis/marijuana. Marijuana is considered a sacred plant by many Indians but especially the Sandhu because it is seen as divine as it is associated with the great Shiva who is said to like the herb. In preparation for ingesting the sacred drug they chant the many names of Shiva, who is said to represent the totality of all and epitomize balance between extremes. It is said that to smoke cannabis is to cleanse the body, mind and spirit.

According to one description, when the elixir of life was produced from the churning of the ocean by the gods and the demons, Shiva created the cannabis plant when it sprang up from a drop of the elixir dropped on the ground. I partake in ingesting marijuana pretty regularly but mostly for health and spiritual purposes. It settles my mind and relaxes me to prepare for long meditation sessions.

Anyway, being disabled from bipolar I am dependent upon a small insurance check and the pay-checks of my wife. We have no children and I have often fretted over what I'd do if my wife were to die before me. I have often said that the only thing keeping me alive and going is her, so I'd be beyond lost without her. Should that happen, my plan up until awhile ago was to just end my life but now I realize why I've been so attracted to the Sadhu life because I was either a Sadhu in a past life and/or it is a role I might have yet to play. I shrink away from the thought of living without my wife but one needs to prepare for all kinds of potentials. Without her, without my parents and without children, there would be nothing keeping me from being a wandering Sadhu. I would dedicate the rest of my life to a full-time spiritual pursuit to purify my mind and cleanse my karma to prepare for entering the next life. As well as cleansing the karma of the community around me. It seems like a calling and while I hope to outlive my wife, I am prepared.

It will either be that or going to a Buddhist monastery of being a hermit monk in China with other hermit Buddhist monks. I'll be doing a more in-depth post on the hermit monks soon.