Sadhu Destiny?

Being primarily a Buddhist, I guess it doesn't come as a surprise that I accept the ideas of past lives, karma and rebirth. I have had some vivid dreams before that weren't like any other. They were so much more real than my regular dreams. They have been vivid beyond imagination.

They were like the 3D movies you can experience now like "Avatar" mixed in with an advanced interactive virtual reality experience. They weren't disjointed or a mishmash of images from the day. They had an obvious beginning, middle and end with a clear message but I've only had a few in my entire 34 years on this beautiful Earth. That also makes these dreams that much more rare, which would support (to me) the idea of them being flashes of past lives.

In one of the most vivid, I was a novice Buddhist monk in Tibet climbing a mountain to a sacred spring to learn from my teachers a lesson in enlightenment. That in part would describe why I had such a strong pull toward Buddhism from the minute that I scratched its surface.

Now we get to the heart of the post--Sadhus. Sadhus are mystics, ascetics, wanderers and yoga gurus found in the Hindu religion in India. I have long had a fascination with India and found the esoteric, mystical traditions and rituals entrancing. The subcontinent pulls at my mind like a magnet. I gobbled up everything that I could find on Indian mysticism and felt like I was reading about a longing for a way of life that I'd had for years. This was to be a wandering mystic who sheds most of humanities trappings and embraces a life of mystical pursuits. I have always had wanderlust and still love to travel today as much as I can. I have also had a long-held disgust with modern human lifestyles and pined for a simpler life living on the edges of society. Well, imagine then my joy upon discovering the Sandhus!!

Being a Sadhu in India is considered the fourth and final stage of seeking moksha (or liberation) through meditation and contemplation -- sometimes within a drug induced trance provided by the smoking of cannabis/marijuana. Marijuana is considered a sacred plant by many Indians but especially the Sandhu because it is seen as divine as it is associated with the great Shiva who is said to like the herb. In preparation for ingesting the sacred drug they chant the many names of Shiva, who is said to represent the totality of all and epitomize balance between extremes. It is said that to smoke cannabis is to cleanse the body, mind and spirit.

According to one description, when the elixir of life was produced from the churning of the ocean by the gods and the demons, Shiva created the cannabis plant when it sprang up from a drop of the elixir dropped on the ground. I partake in ingesting marijuana pretty regularly but mostly for health and spiritual purposes. It settles my mind and relaxes me to prepare for long meditation sessions.

Anyway, being disabled from bipolar I am dependent upon a small insurance check and the pay-checks of my wife. We have no children and I have often fretted over what I'd do if my wife were to die before me. I have often said that the only thing keeping me alive and going is her, so I'd be beyond lost without her. Should that happen, my plan up until awhile ago was to just end my life but now I realize why I've been so attracted to the Sadhu life because I was either a Sadhu in a past life and/or it is a role I might have yet to play. I shrink away from the thought of living without my wife but one needs to prepare for all kinds of potentials. Without her, without my parents and without children, there would be nothing keeping me from being a wandering Sadhu. I would dedicate the rest of my life to a full-time spiritual pursuit to purify my mind and cleanse my karma to prepare for entering the next life. As well as cleansing the karma of the community around me. It seems like a calling and while I hope to outlive my wife, I am prepared.

It will either be that or going to a Buddhist monastery of being a hermit monk in China with other hermit Buddhist monks. I'll be doing a more in-depth post on the hermit monks soon.