The Rites of Spring in the High Rocky Mountains.

The sunny birds have stirred me from my winter hibernation to embrace the fertility of Spring. Immediately my eyes lift heavenward to the Rocky Mountains towering above. My heart is like a magnet, as it yearns to be reunited with the wilds of my youth. As soon as I could walk on my own, I was introduced to the near-by mountains and have gone back again and again for the rest of my life. I feel such a strong and peaceful bond with all of nature. It ignited a life-long passion for nature that burns brighter with each passing year. Soon, it will be time to perform my "Consecration of Spring" ritual.

It involves finding a secluded woods far away from camp sites to strip naked. Nudity is our natural form--it is what Mother Nature intended us to wear in our natural habitat. But, since we can't walk around naked all the time, I like to incorporate it into many of my Neo-Pagan rituals. In those hidden woods, I dig a small hole with my hands. I don't use a man-made object because it lacks the personal connection to the fertile dirt that feeds us and gives us resources for shelter and fuel.

I like to raise a scoop of dirt in my hands to my nose and smell of its richness. It is a gesture of respect to the soil's power. At the same time, it's soft yet rich scent relaxes my body and mind, allowing the chaotic stress of modernity to melt away quicker. It's a ritual that shakes the grime of city life off my mind so I can get into spiritual state worthy of Mother Nature's beauty. It's a ritual that reminds me I don't have to carry the baggage of my daily life out in nature. It disintegrates the knots of stress, so that I can fully embrace the experience of nature. I don't believe in rituals without preparing your spirit first because otherwise you rush through it and miss the messages Mother Nature has for you because you weren't in the right frame of mind.

This is where I will be adding some new rituals to my "Consecration of Spring" ceremony. I like to bath in mountain streams when I go backpacking far away from human contact. So, I was thinking that before I strip naked in a secluded grove, and dig the hole that I'll bath in a mountain stream to ritualistically cleanse the grime of materialism from my body. Then when I'm naked I am pure for the rituals to come. Finally, upon completion of the bathing and digging, I drop some wildflower seeds in the hole. Then, I begin to masturbate.

I really loose myself in it, without drawing too much attention. I thank Mother Nature for giving me such a beautiful tool, as my aroused phallus to spread fertility. I thank her for making me a man and with it the enjoyment a sexually horny male can enjoy. I dedicate myself to supporting all ideas that further the birth of revolutionary changes that improve life for humans and animals. Then, when I've extended my masturbating for as long as I can, I unload my streaming man seed (cum) into the hole (womb) as a symbolic ritual of rebirth.

A dedication to a Springtime of renewal and stewardship of nature. It is a ritual where I symbolically impregnate nature and thus feel a deeper bond to the land--and to protect it like I would my own family. It represents a renewed hope and dedication to give birth to new and positive changes in my life. It helps me feel like I am re-connecting with my "natural man" instincts, too. Then I fill in the hole with the soil dug out and cover the sacrificial area with leaves, in a nod to the environmentalists creed, "Leave nature as pristine as you found it." Leave no trace of human activity behind. Feel free to adopt anything that calls to from my "Consecration of Spring" ritual...I believe in communal co-operation and sharing of spiritual expression. That's all for now...

~The Green Man Has Spoken~

The Spirituality Behind Phallic Worship.

A swollen, full, veiny, throbbing hard penis is a work of art to me, and as a bisexual man, I am a proud adherent of the ancient practice of phallic worship. I can not gaze upon a masterpiece of a cock without feeling my own manhood swell in brotherhood unity. Humanity has long been enthralled by the spellbinding nature of the phallus, from the ancient obelisks of Egypt to the modern age of pornography. It stands proud and noble pointing to the heavens to remind all that we descend from the cosmic seed of the stars. A firm erection demands attention as it protrudes out from the male body mesmerizing those who gaze upon as if they were looking upon a holy relic. It is to be handled like a religious icon as it is delicate and precious to all who enjoy it.


(The phallic rock in Kharkhorin, Mongolia)The kneeling on the floor to suck on a phallus is a very devotional act which shows great reverence as one is quite literally bowing before it and giving all of oneself to its glory. From an early age every male becomes intimately aware of the power and magic between his legs. The young man stands in awe of his cock growing with touch to the point of powerfully ejecting his hot seed of life. From his first orgasm he becomes devoted to pleasing it for the rest of his life. He fondles it with care in recognition of how special a gift it is to him. It is his sacred scepter of manhood. His fleshy magic-wand that when stroked transforms the mundane into the transcendental. Connecting with his penis is a devotional act of submission, submission to the passion that stirs the fire of his being. His sensitive balls carry the weight of creation and raw manhood.

(Phallus fountain in the Netherlands)I cannot resist the beckon of my phallus when it begins to stir, I must touch it and make it happy or I cannot think about anything else. I am devoted to the power of the cock and devoted to its celebration and adoration. A swollen cock ejaculating is a beautiful, magical sight as it is watching the raw power of creation surging forth to find the receptacle of the feminine chalice like vagina. I love to watch my cock pulse as it strains to eject my seed as far as possible to ensure the best chances of achieving union with the yoni energy inside the sacred temple that is the vagina.

Pagan phallic altar at "Graveyard Dirt: Two Worlds and In-between"

One final note, don't let anyone tell you that adoration of phallus is "dirty" or "immoral." Nor the same about masturbation. The various pagan religious traditions consider the human phallus to be immensely sacred (as is the vagina) and they are the oldest and longest surviving religions of humanity!! Often the response you hear is that you just want to indulge your sexual desires and "justify it" by calling it religion. But, if those people aren't experiencing sexuality in an intensely spiritual way then I'd say that they're doing it wrong!! Sexuality is the height of spiritual ecstasy. For the pagan, sexuality and spirituality are not separate because sexuality is the source of life itself!! So, it is perfectly normal to celebrate life through sexual adoration and ritual. Without sexual desires, there wouldn't be religion in the first place. So, for myself, I am not embarrassed or ashamed to worship sexuality, eroticism and the naked, aroused human body.

~The Green Man has Spoken~

Turk Mason: My New Man Crush.

Great Odin's beard!! Look who wandered into the grove?! It's Turk (heavy breathing) Mason!! Ok, ok, you caught me -- I lured him here, but can you blame me??? Don't give me that judging look, I told you in the profile that the grove would be a sanctuary for sexuality from time to time!! You'll find no shame in this grove over nudity -- we encourage it!! It is how Mother Nature delivered us, so there is nothing to feel ashamed about. We are supposed to ogle each other, that's why our sexual organs look so amazingly beautiful!! If you want sentient beings to reproduce, then it's only natural to make their bodies works of art to entice copulation. Phew, it's getting steamy in here!!

So, Turk, do you like bisexual men? Well, seeing how you are gay, I'm betting that my "Republic of Bisexualopolis" passport should qualify me as a "guest" in "gaytopia" long enough for us to bond.

Maybe lie down in the tall, soft, grass at the edge of the grove together naked, to bask in the glory of our aroused male sex organs. Watch the sunshine glisten off the tight, shiny, pink skin. Let the cool breeze relax the tension as we express our shared raw, masculine, sexuality. Cuddling, fondling and caressing. Savoring the intoxicating, musky scent of an aroused man. Stroke our masculine pride with absolute enjoyment and no hint of shame, until we explode with blissful ecstasy all over each other and the grove.

Mmmmm, yes, the Green Man has a crush on a gorgeous boy and his name is Turk Mason.

~The Green Man has Spoken~

The Horny God Cernnunos; Sex in Nature.

(The Horned God Cernunnos)

I'm not normally the nudist type but when we go backpacking, some 30 miles away from humanity in all directions, I immensely enjoy walking around the woods skyclad. It is a thrilling experience to feel leaves upon the skin (making sure to avoid the poisonous ones) of my naked body; to feel the natural breeze off a lake (the breath of the goddess) caress my naked bits is breath-taking and something very humanizing. It's like a long-lost memory of the kind of freedom that my species hasn't known since early man and womankind. Allowing ourselves to be naked in our natural habitat is natural--our natural state; worth celebrating and honoring in ceremonies.

Once, while I was all alone in a forest, a few years back, during a backpacking trip I masturbated amidst a grove of pine trees after a rainfall. The earthly smell of wet dirt and pine filled the air. That musty scent really brought out my primal, sensual animal. It was highly arousing to be naked in the forest like my ancestors--Cernnunos, the horned one. I think the sensuality came as I brought the sounds, smells and sights of nature into my sexual experience.

Including walking through leafy, forest paths with an erection to find my sacred spot. My hardness parted the soft leaves like a royal scepter, which was thrilling and sacred for me. The sacredness is taking back the noble erection from the shame men have had to endure from society; telling them the penis is something to hide--and laugh at from discomfort with the imposing protrusion of it's proud, natural form. The double-standard we've had to endure of movies celebrating boobs and the naked female form but hiding the man in the background; as well as not showing his penis. Why is the penis something to hide?!! Are we ashamed of it?!! That is so sad.

The scents of the flowers, emitting the intoxicating sensuality of the goddess aroused inside me a celebration of all things feminine in my head. In that moment, I wanted to make sacred love with all of Earth's blessed women. I was at love, with both the natural world in that moment and the female energy; not just the beautiful form but from the nurturing, caring and warmness of our Queens. As I lay back upon the reclining, smooth logs, I was at the height of sexual, sensual and spiritual arousal; the orgasm that ensued was basking in the power of those three givers of love. It was an experience that blew my mind, warmed my heart and rejuvenating my self-esteem; as well as rejuvenating my relationship with nature.

I want to do this again sometime but with a ceremony planned around self-pleasure communing. In it I plan to take on the form of the Horned God Cernunnos, who is the Celtic god of nature and male fertility (thus, the name of my post calling him the, "horny god" instead of horned god). I want to bathe in a near-by creak to cleanse myself, before laying a blanket down in a secluded forest clearing and performing a sage cleansing. Inhaling lavender flowers brought with me for the ceremony to relax and connect my sexual energy with Mother Nature's sensuality.

I will dig a small hole in the Earth to symbolize the womb of nature. Next, comes laying red rose petals throughout the hole to symbolism the feminine, the goddess and female fertility. Upon completion I would settle into a meditative trance of self-stimulation. Upon the climax of the ceremony I would spread my male seed into the symbolic womb (Earthen hole) as an offering. After draining my seed, I would sprinkle some distilled (distilled for purity) water over the mixture; as a symbolic gesture of watering the seed to unlock it's rejuvenating energy. Finally, I'd fill the hole (Earthen womb) with the dirt that use to fill it, to seal the offering to the goddess.

Afterward, I will kneel before the Earthen womb and say a few words of hope to the winds of the high mountains, whipping down from above; that nature might be rejuvenated through humanity's re-awakening to the importance of Mother Nature. Celebration and honor be forever to our blessed Mother Earth. I plan, as well, to have a sexual ceremony in this setting with my wife. In addition to an offering of my seed to the male sexual energy; being that I'm bisexual.

PHOTO CREDIT: Sandra San Tara

~The Green Man has Spoken~

Sacred Sexuality.

Perhaps one of the biggest crimes in human history has been the imprisonment, control and demonization of sexuality by the world religions. As children of our great Mother Earth, we have been blessed with beautiful sexual organs but rather than celebrate and treasure them we have for too long shackled them from performing their magical powers. It's very tragic and sad that modern religions have strayed from seeing sexuality as a gift to be used to transcend consciousness and merge with the great ecstasy of the divine consciousness.

There are those who call it, "sex magick" because it has such a powerful ability to change states of mind. In times of depression, sexuality can lift one's spirit and consciousness to a healthier state of confidence and empowerment. In times of anxiety and stress it can be a spell that transforms that toxic energy into sexual energy, which is a healthier form of pent-up energy that can be released in powerful, torrents of orgasmic, sexual release. It leaves one's body relaxed, light, emotionally calm and full of loving joy. How could that not be a good thing, and something to celebrate from the rooftops of civilization!! Well, since not everyone is as enlightened about sexuality, I'll keep the celebrating to the blog.

Masturbation, for example, is a great way to feel better about yourself in a environment controlled by you that is a safe and fun way to get to explore your sexuality. It is tragic that we brainwash our children through religious fear to avoid touching their bodies and to see their sex organs as tools of the devil unless used properly. I was one of those kids. I was raised in a very strict, conservative household where masturbation was a sin and a sign of a bad child. So, I am on a mission to liberate masturbation from the closest of forbidden lusts; because one of the reasons masturbation is so beneficial to teens and adults is that it improves self-esteem.

One of the ways that masturbation can be transcendental is through orgasm control. In guys, (I'm focusing on guys simply because that's who I know best) this if often referred to as, "edging" which means building the sexual energy and enjoyment of your phallus to the "edge of orgasm" without cuming. It intensifies with each stroke of the hand as your ride just along the edge of sexual release; but just as important is backing off before you release your sacred seed too soon. This can be hard when you are in the moment but be patient and practice because once you can build your orgasm for an hour or so the explosion of pleasure is beyond this world. It'll be the hardest, longest and most ample orgasmic emission that you'll ever experience. The closest I have experienced this kind of transcendental pleasure outside sexuality is the drug ecstasy, which I think everyone who is of sound mind and body should try once in their lifetime--(just make sure you drink plenty of water if you do. But not too much--a tall glass of water every hour should do).

Anyway, for guys, be careful you don't edge to the point of blue balls because then you have over-shot the peak of spiritually orgasmic union with the ultimate Consciousness. Thus, the power you feel will be decreased. This is the Cosmic Consciousness referred to by all the great occultists. The Cosmic Consciousness is the idea that universe exists as a interconnected network of consciousness that permeates all things: us, animals, rocks, water, air, earth, fire, etc. This is best described I think from the Indra's net example. Indra's net is a cosmic metaphorical net that permeates the fabric of space and time; each node where the net connects together being a different consciousness/sentient being (us) or any other type of spacial, elemental and material form.

Therefore, if we can tap into the network more fully and experience the collective Cosmic Consciousness then we will get a glimpse of what it feels like to experience total transcendence of suffering. This is what I think is going on at the moment of orgasm. It is tapping into that vast network where a pleasure in one's mind-body is multiplied by accessing the collective energy of the net or grid. So, if we can engage in sexuality that is combined with a type of meditative centering and letting go of boundaries we can experience a near out of body orgasm that allows us to see the greater potential of the spirit--of the Cosmic consciousness. A spiritual orgasm, if you will.

Tapping into this grid through sexuality is, so powerful and explosive that it's like crossing a power-line with a metal rod--it sends electric pulses of power rushing through your body until near physical collapse. But, just like any spiritual tool, sex mustn't be viewed as the goal but rather a tool to access the ultimate goal of merging one's consciousness with the Cosmic Consciousness, so we are always at one and at peace with all things. This is a glimpse of one aspect to the "Great Work" that occultists like Aleister Crowley and those in the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn taught/teach and spoke/speak of. It is our inheritance to be liberated through sexuality, so cherish it and practice, practice, practice!!

P.S. - I don't hear any masturbatory groans and moans, yet--so, get to it!! Ha!!

~The Green Man has Spoken~

Bisexuality: My Story.

I told you that I was going to do some posts about sexuality on here now and then. As a married man who is still coming to terms with his bisexuality. So, I've wanted to write a post addressing the matter for awhile.

Anyway, I have always been attracted to men as well as women. It's just that growing up in a very traditional, conservative, Christian household I wasn't allowed much freedom to explore my sexuality. Shit, even masturbation was taboo; an act that would barrel you straight down to hell in my family. So I learned at an early age to suppress sexual desires of all kinds--let alone thoughts about another guy. Still, it's hard to keep a young, horny, teen-age boy away from his constant, demanding and intimidating erection!! So, I allowed myself to masturbate but not without some serious guilt behind it. Those sessions of young, pent up, raging, hormones were always tainted (partially ruined as well) by my parents voice in my head reminding myself that "God was watching." Upon thinking about "God" watching me I remember feeling a bit uncomfortable with such a concept because it was drilled into my mind to not let adults see your private parts.

I ended up straying from the morals of my parents in junior high and high school. I often found myself up late at night at sleep overs with a guy friend watching soft-core porn on cable t.v. I vividly remember trying to find a way to masturbate with my buddy to the movie. We'd talk about how sexy the women looked in the movies but never whipped it out and went for it (SIDE NOTE: Not all guys who masturbate together are gay or bisexual but many are).

He seemed conflicted in his eyes but not for long because he just said he was tired and that was that. I fell asleep dreaming about mutual masturbation with him. I finally got near to masturbating with another kid while watching dirty movies in my basement but my parents broke it up by yelling downstairs to us that it was dinner time; and that meant "Eddy" had to leave. Up until this point my brother and I had been masturbating in secret with each other while watching porn movies that I borrowed from friends. It wasn't something I considered incest because we were nearly the same age. We were just two horny boys trying to figure out their sexuality. For my brother I think it was simply a way to "cum" without getting in trouble with the parents by having actual sex--and with a girl. For me though it was very arousing because they fulfilled my fantasies of masturbating with another guy. We went as far as oral sex on each other but our fun ended when my young, guilt-ridden conscience went to my parents and confessed. I still feel bad for that because my older brother got in trouble for it. Sorry bro, I was a confused kid at the time.

By then I was in high school and started focusing on girls again. I dated a few girls and had some pretty amazing and wild sexual experiences with them but I still would have thoughts of guys. However, I'd always "delete" them from my mind when they arose because I was worried if I encouraged them that I'd be sent to "hell." Now, I'd be sent to "hell" in that Christian tradition for having sex with girls out of wedlock too but I was always taught that gay sex was worse. So, you can understand then why I still to this day have guilt over enjoying sexual experiences with men and it's something I think I'll be working with for awhile. That church really fucked up my chances at a normal, healthy, sex life but I'm gaining it back step by step. That's what happens when you preach repressive bullshit to innocent, susceptible kids--you ruin any chance of them making decisions based on their own wishes, desires and thoughts. In the end, I went on a two year mission for that church where I was around nobody but guys--Ha!! Believe me the homosexual desires didn't go away in that environment!!

Fast forward to marrying my wife. One of the mains reasons that I married my wife was because we talked about sexuality in-depth before taking the plunge. We had a very open and honest dating life and talked extensively about what we liked and disliked, sexually speaking. It wasn't long before we both professed bisexual tendencies--we were both relieved to find that we shared a common "secret." I only say "secret" because at the time the community we lived in was still very much in the cloth of that rigid church.

We both accepted each other for who we were and knew that our love for each other was strong enough to allow for split, sexual desires--and as of today, we've been happily married for 10+ years. Anyway, we had our time doing the swinging lifestyle, which was one of the reasons I married her. I didn't want to marry someone who was sexually too "vanilla." I wasn't going to marry (I had told myself at a young age) if I couldn't enjoy both sides of the sexual shopping aisle. We have tappered off the swinging over the last few years simply because neither of us feels our bodies are attractive enough to warrant anyone being interested in us right now. Ha!!

Some people don't understand how you can be bisexual and in a marriage. Let's forget the swinging aspect of our relationship for this part of the discussion because right now we're not swinging anyway. But this brings up an important point that bisexuals have to explain over and over. It's the concept of the "Alternating Bisexual" which by the sounds of it should be easy to understand but unfortunately for a lot of people--it's not. Anyway, I don't have space to describe the whole concept, so I'll leave you with a link to a blog that addresses it perfectly. LINK.

Anyway, that's all I have time for now but I'll be addressing my sexuality further in the days to come as I haven't really told my story on here yet. It's much more in-depth than this quick write-up but this will have to suffice for now. Anyway, (kicks the closet door open) I'm "The Green Man" and I'm a bisexual--and proud of it.

~The Green Man has Spoken~

Catching Up with Johnny: Asked to Do a Porno!!

Well, it's been wayyyyy too long since I've caught up with my favorite figure skater, and dandy--Johnny Weir. We know how our sexually confident our body is with his alluring fashion and photo shoots but it turns out that perhaps he's a bit more prudish than my dirty mind imagined!!

"I was offered to do a porno movie. It was a masturbation movie. I looked at it and said no. It’s dirty."

Green Man: Despite Johnny's wise career choice, I must say my masturbation-loving self melts in arousing sweat at the thought of Johnny doing some solosexual scenes. I mean, seriously, just look at the man!! <----

I'd be happy to just be able to try on some of his wardrobe and have a fashion show at his pad for the day. I'm not saying what I'd do with the images from that day later on in the privacy of my own home, but I think you get the idea. I know the song says, "Johnny be good" but in this instance my mind is rooting for his bad side to come out and play.

I know, a little raunchy for a fairly spiritual blog but I warned you that I'd be saying some risque things now and then in my profile. This is one of the few places that i can safely express and explore my bisexuality, so deal with it. Besides, whoever says that sexuality isn't spiritual is denying a major aspect of what it means to be alive and human.

~The Green Man has Spoken~

Anti-Gay Politician, a DUI, a Gay Bar and a Child Prostitution Ring at the Vatican. Oh my!!

Early Wednesday morning, State Sen. Roy Ashburn (R-Calif.) was pulled over and arrested for drunk driving. Sources report that Ashburn -- a fierce opponent of gay rights -- was driving drunk after leaving a gay nightclub; when the officer stopped the state-issued vehicle, there was an unidentified man in the passenger seat of the car.

Green Man: Oh Senator Ashburn, me thinks thou doth protest too much!! Ranting and raving to no end about the "evils of homosexuality" is a classic sign of your own inner, sexual turmoil. I normally don't care about peoples' sex lives unless they themselves make a big deal about the sex lives of everyone else. This isn't very shocking but what would be shocking is if a gay, Republican politician proudly came out of the closet on his/her own rather than being exposed as a self-hating hypocrite. I'm not saying that there aren't hypocrites in the Democratic party because there are but when it comes to sexual hypocrisy? Especially when in-line with homosexuality? The Republicans nearly have a monopoly. Now, in other "news" a child prostitution ring has been exposed in relation to the Vatican:

A papal aide used an intermediary in an elite Vatican choir to solicit young male choristers and seminarians for prostitution. Police wiretaps are expected to result in charges against Angelo Balducci, 63, a Papal Gentleman, as lay attendant are called, and the former chairman of the Holy See's Public Works Department, which is itself caught up in a corruption investigation. According to police, Balducci regularly contacted Chinedu Ehiem Thomas, a Nigerian man who sings in St. Peter's Cappella Giulia, to engage the sexual services of young male members of the choir, along with seminarians and undocumented immigrants seeking residency status. Ehiem, 40, who goes by the nickname Mike, and his assistant Lorenzo Renzi, 33, allegedly arranged for prostitutes for Balducci several times a week. The two men are said to have operated a network of aspiring young priests, choir members and sometimes recruited foreigners seeking to secure their immigration status.

Green Man: I find it ironic that the Catholic church has so many sex scandals and yet has the temerity to get involved in telling other people how they should behave sexually!! What does a celibate person know about sexuality anyway?!! And then the Catholics think they have the credibility to weigh in on the gay marriage debate??? They are up to the eye-balls in priests and officials engaging in sex acts with children, yet they are going to lecture law-abiding homosexuals and heterosexuals on what is "correct sexual conduct???" Bullshit. That's like taking financial advice from Bernie Madoff. I'm so sick of the religious mafia going around and condemning everyone while they leave a trail of pain, abuse and hatred behind them. If these religious organizations are going to insist on involving themselves in political matters then it's about damn time to tax them!!

~The Green Man has Spoken~

My New Man-Crush: Badboy Johnny Weir.

One of my favorite sports in the Winter Olympics is figure skating. It requires more strength than I think most people realize. They make it look easy but I challenge any man who thinks the male figure skaters are just, "girly men" to do what they do. They wouldn't be able to jump an inch off the ground and land it--let alone do three, four spins in the air and then land!! As for me, I like a "girly man" anyway.

The skater I like most in the 2010 Vancouver Olympics is Johnny Weir (pictured above) as he has the perfect balance of talent, strength and flamboyancy. He is a three time U.S. National Figure Skating Champion. I love his flair and exuberance for life and skating. He's so elegant, hypnotically graceful, artistic and really damn sexy. He's muscular, but not with that over-cooked, "hot dog look" of bulky muscles--he's more toned with a lean figure that makes my knees weak. And look at that ass peeking out from his pants--too bad figure skating isn't done in the nude!! I doubt that there isn't a part of his body that's not, *ahem* toned.

Weir showed in this response to the obsession with his sexuality, a maturity beyond his 25 years:

"People talk. Figure skating is thought of as a female sport, something that only girly men compete in. I don't feel the need to express my sexual being because it's not part of my sport and it's private. I can sleep with whomever I choose and it doesn't affect what I'm doing on the ice, so speculation is speculation." And: "I like nice things, and beautiful things, so if that is the only way people are determining that I swing one way or the other, then to me, that's sad. I am who I am, and I don't need to justify anything to anyone.

And, "There are some things I keep sacred,” Weir said. “My middle name. Who I sleep with. And what kind of hand moisturizer I use."

Green Man: O.k., enough with the maturity--bring on more photos of Johnny Be Bad, er, Good!! How can you not like, and/or respect a man who has the self-confidence to rock 6 inch heels?!! And as if he wasn't sexy enough, Johnny speaks both French and Russian--two of the sexiest languages in my opinion. I'm pretty fluent in French from having lived in French speaking West Africa for a couple of years. So I'm sure we could converse together as he relaxes his muscles in a hot tub after a tiring figure skating competition...Ooo la la!! It's getting hot in here so I'll focus (or try) on some other details about the beloved eccentric skater. But I love that sassy attitude he's flashing in this picture below:

I must, however, take him to task on wearing fur--that's a turn off Johnny, but before you bombard my man-crush with hate mail, he has stopped wearing it after complaints. I hope he will continue to avoid fur in the future. And to the delight of this animal lover, (me) he has two pet chihuahuas named: Bon Bon and Vanya--cute. Sundance Channel did a reality show following Johnny around--here's the website for clips where he is often not wearing a shirt!! And in this clip--not much more!! Johnny, you so bad, you good!!